Looking For Love
It’s important for me to feel loved and appreciated. When I don’t feel that I’m getting love and attention from my family and friends, I tend to feel sorry for myself. This causes me to be easily frustrated and not so pleasant to be around. I begin to focus on me and what my needs are. I focus on all the things not being done for me. I find myself depending on the love of others and not relying solely on the love of God. This is a dangerous place for me to be and I need to just stop and give God control of my heart.
I need to remember that God is my source of love. He is love. When my eyes begin to drift in other places for love and attention its during those times when I’m experiencing a dry spell in my walk with Him. I seem to allow the things of this world to distract me from where God is leading me. Even if I don’t feel it, God’s love is always there.
The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)
THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART
Frustration can be overwhelming as I strive to be the spiritual leader in the home. My desire to someday be a wife to a man of God can at times consume me. This is when I have to seek the Lord and allow His presence to consume me. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with my desires. But when I let them consume me – it becomes a problem. And just so you know – it can be anything that consumes you or me. The desire to make more money, get a better job, a nicer car, having more children, and having more friends. This is the danger zone of making things and such an idol. And that is a whole nother (is that even a word) story.
JESUS IS MY FRIEND
My heart was overjoyed when I realized years ago that Jesus loved me for who I am. Wow – Jesus loves me! God created me to be me! So if God loves me and Jesus died for me then it must be okay for me to like me too. I have accepted Jesus’ friend request!
From time to time I need to redirect my heart towards Christ. It is so easy for my heart to run off course and I desperately want my heart to always belong to God first. There’s just no better way. There’s just no better place for my heart to be. It does me no good if my heart is in the wrong place. You know — Looking for Love in all the wrong places. Yeah, you knew that was coming!!
What’s really important to me – is having the love of God. It took me a long time to really believe that he could love someone such as me. Without the love of God – there’s really no love at all.
I wrote this article several years ago and republished it in August 2013. I enjoy reading it every time I come across it. I hope it speaks to your heart as it continues to speak to mine.
So! . . . Here we go . . . Enjoy.
Sometimes I forget that when I am waiting for God to answer my prayer or prayers – I need to breath. I need to continue to seek His face daily and remember that the Joy of the Lord is my strength. That’s what I need to remember and hold on to – The Joy of the Lord is my strength. It’s great when I get an answer from God as soon as I ask Him to help me, show me or let me know something. I’d be lying if I told you I enjoy the process of waiting. Sometimes the process of waiting is just unbearable yet necessary. When I come to the understanding of who it is I am waiting to hear from, I am strengthened and can stand tall with my sword of His Word drawn. And if I cry a lot, I know He holds my tears and I know that Joy comes in the morning. So, my friend, if you are waiting on God to answer a request, a desire or cry in your heart – remember the words of the psalmist:
“I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.” Psalm 116:1,2 NIV
They That Wait Upon the Lord
Patience, a fruit of the Spirit
I feel that it is important to have patience while God is working in our lives. Understanding that there is a possibility of a waiting period between your request to God and His answer, you will have a peace and calm that allows you to move on from focussing on why you don’t have an answer. It’s not always easy for me to wait on God. I want answers NOW! I want to know if my answer is Yes or No! And if it’s a Maybe – I want to know WHEN my Yes or No will come! I sincerely ask for your prayers. Because waiting to hear from God isn’t one of my strong points. Especially if I feel I need to know something Now. If you’re waiting on God to answer your prayer, I want to encourage you to be patient with God. Don’t get discouraged! I would love to be able to know what God is doing in my life and what He has planned when things are dim, unclear and uncertain to me. It’s not always so easy to have that faith that God is working on my behalf. But in my heart of hearts I know that in His hands, I’ll be okay. You’ll be okay too.
I have often heard that praying for patience is not such a good thing to pray for. That if you pray for patience, you soon will regret it. Patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit. It is a precious gift from God.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” Galatians 5:22,23
Because I have come to the conclusion that being impatient is a waste of energy and just is an annoying feeling, I have acquired a desire to obtain the gift of patience. I want to have the wisdom to know when to pause for a moment in the quietness of His presence and hear what He is saying to me in my heart. There’s a peace that comes with being patient.
Yes, I prayed for patience a few times. And before I understood how you get it, I found myself in situations where my patience was tried! I found myself, many, many times, in traffic behind that driver who feels the need to drive 20mph in a 35mph lane and I can’t go around him! I would get in the short grocery line only to find that there’s a price check for the person in front of me and even on one of my items! I will say this though. If you want a quick answer or a quick response to a prayer – pray for patience. It’s not in the Bible but I truly believe that the rule on answering the prayer for patience is an immediate one!
“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:14
“But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” Romans 8:25
Truth be told. I don’t pray for patience as much as I used to. I just pray that God gets me through what I’m going through – – with patience.
May the peace of Christ rule in your hearts. May the blessings of our Lord Jesus fill your days with joy and may we see the light of our Lord in all that we do.
Continue to keep me and my family in your prayers as I keep you and yours in mine!
This writing was actually a homework assignment for my college english class about 1988. My sister Kathy and I were roommates for about five years. It was a great moment in time. I love you Kat!
Ok. Here we go . . .
Although we were born together on the same day, there are many differences between my sister Kathy and I.
Kathy’s normal birth head first was eight minutes before me as I was born a more difficult birth with my feet first.
Kathy looks more like our father and holds some of his mother’s features as I take on those of our mother.
As that may be, Kathy’s personality, which is pretty mellow and friendly, is tailored to that of our mother’s. On the other hand, my personality, outgoing, adventurous and somewhat crazy tends to be more like our father’s.
After high school Kathy went on to further her education and enrolled in college but I had to be outgoing, adventurous and most definitely crazy when I decided to join the military – the Navy.
When it comes to home making, Kathy takes the cake. She likes to cook and she takes the time to make herself a meal to save money. I find it easier and just as healthy to go through a gourmet drive through and save time.
Finally, as Kathy and I are indeed different, it is the difference that has borne such a binding friendship and love.
– – Fast forward to today, I enjoy and am very good at cooking home cooked meals with fresh ingredients!
My father passed away September 2012. I wrote this for him and it was read by my cousin Sereatha at his memorial service. I would always greet my dad saying ‘Hi Pa’pa! and he would say back, ‘Hi Da’da!”
How do we say goodbye to a husband who loved, provided for, sheltered and protected his family.
How do we say goodbye to a grandpa whose love was expressed through hugs, laughter, sound advise and wisdom.
How do we say goodbye to a friend who offered his technical expertise about what he truly loved to work with – computers.
How do we say goodbye?
We stand firm, hold our heads up high and we solute you.
Timothy 4:7 – I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith.
Karen © 2012
I wrote this poem February 12 & 13 1988. It’s a little off beat, I know. I can remember exactly what I felt when I wrote this. Kind of bittersweet. I’ll tell you about it some day. Until then, enjoy.
Keep me in Thy Perfect Will
that I not be led astray.
I know I am a sinner
and have tried things my own say.
Without you there’s no guidance
for my eyes are blind to thee.
So you left your word which lights the way
and shines ahead of me.
Your Spirit dwells within me
and has lead me to a place.
Where your love and mercy
has washed my sins by grace.
I love you Lord with all my heart
my soul and all my mind.
I long to see your face
So in your word I seek to find.
Quicken me in my heart
to hear your voice and obey.
Not my will but thine be done
when things don’t go my way.
Keep me in Thy Perfect Will
that I be pleasing in your sight.
Too long have I done things my way
I now know your way’s right.
Karen L. Wilson (Evans) © 1988
I looked up in the sky
And saw a cloud shaped like a dove.
I marveled at the works of God
He shows us from above
An artist He has shown to be
The beauty He creates
It’s all around me everyday
This I anticipate
The sounds of birds I hear each day
A song from God to me
Created for this purpose
In every bird I see
The smell of flowers in the air
That bloom in time for spring
This fills my heart with joyful praise
That makes me want to sing
I love to see what God has done
And what he plans to do
He created me just as I am
As He wonderfully created you.
This was written April 15, 1987. I don’t remember much surrounding this poem except that I was a new Christian and was amazed that Jesus forgave me and loved me just the way I was. That amazed me to no end! That I was loved! In some of my older work you will see some ‘thees thous thusses and yees’ and I used knocketh! That’s because I read out of the King James version – – Ok. Here we go. Enjoy.
Don’t put Jesus off till tomorrow
For He may be coming today
He knows all about your Past Life
And loves you the same anyway
With Jesus you haven’t the worries
Which saddens and hardens your heart
With Jesus your Past Life’s forgotten
Giving your life a new start
Look ye not behind thee
And lift your eyes above
Repent and He’ll forgive you
And fill your heart with love
He knocketh at your door right now
And wishes to come in
Accept Him now, just as you are
And He’ll cleanse you from your sins
Confessing Jesus Lord of Lords
Believe from death He rose
Plead the blood of Jesus
And accept the Holy Ghost
Know that forward is the way
A babe in Christ you’ll be
Because new born babies have no past
So from your past you’re free
Karen Lynn Wilson (Evans) © 1987
This poem was written in about a second! It can really stand some revising. I can remember sitting there and the only word that came to mind was ‘Sometimes’. So I wrote about it. I’m sure this could have been titled differently or the use of the current title could have been used more creatively. But it wasn’t. So this is what was in my heart at that moment. Throw me a word (or whatever) sometime and I’ll write about! Cuz that’s what I do! Enjoy.
Lord fill me with your Spirit, and help me to believe
All that you have promised me, from you to be received
You say that you can hear me, with every prayer I pray
But Sometimes when I talk to you, you seem so far away
That’s not the case I know this, your ears are open wide
No matter what I’m going through, or what I feel inside
Lord leed me with your Spirit, and guide me through each day
Sometimes my mind is cloudy, Lord please show me the way
Lord teach me with your Spirit, and show me what is right
Teach me how to be on guard, teach me how to fight.
Karen – written January 28, 2007
I wrote this when I was at a coffee shop to do some writing and there was a young man doing some work on his laptop. This moment could have drove me crazy but I chose to enjoy it instead. Here’s what came to mind for me to write:
I don’t think this kid knows his music can be heard by us all.
He has his plugs in his ears and is dancing – you know bopping his head and kinda just moving to his music.
With his shades on – how cool he must believe he is. And that’s cool. Cuz he is in His Own World.
He just doesn’t know he’s sharing his world with all of us!
written June 6, 2015
I don’t have a lovely singing voice. But I love to Sing.
I wish I had a lovely singing voice. Cuz I love to Sing.
Sometimes I make up a silly song – it makes me smile.
I wish I could sing a song for my friends and see them smile in amazement.
Even if it doesn’t sound all that great – I think they would still smile.
Cuz they would see – feel- and know that —
I Love to Sing!
(written, June 6, 2015)